


Open Your Eyes

by twenty3



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Asexual Peter Parker, Asexuality, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Hurt Stephen Strange, IronStrange, Irondad, M/M, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Stephen's Accident, Stephen's Hands, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:09:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24806734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twenty3/pseuds/twenty3
Summary: When Tony and Stephen's friendship finally takes a step toward something more, Stephen panics and runs away.Because of his accident. Because he can no longer do the things he thinks Tony wants. Because that means Tony won't want to be with him, right?Their ability to navigate a relationship without sex helps them be there for Peter when the teenager seeks them out to talk about his own sexuality.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Stephen Strange, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark & Stephen Strange, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Comments: 17
Kudos: 228





	Open Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for clicking!
> 
> So this story is a bit different than my other ones, but I loved writing it. This was actually a request by a friend of mine, who is asexual, and wanted me to explore it with Peter and Tony/Stephen. Here, Stephen isn't asexual, but not longer interested in sex due to the nerve damage from his accident.
> 
> I'm not asexual, and have never written a character who is before, so I really do apologize if I'm way off target here. I had my friend give very critical notes so as not to be offensive or judgmental in any way, because that was surely not my intention whatsoever. 
> 
> I hope it's an enjoyable read!

The fact that he was over working himself in response to his anxiety as opposed to swallowing down a bottle of alcohol brought Tony a strange sense of solace. In the interest of full disclosure, he had had two glasses of whiskey before retreating to the lab. Not the best of coping mechanisms, but he had certainly done worse. The fact that he was able to stop at all once he had started was in and of itself a miracle.

But no matter how many times he reworked Peter’s new suit, he couldn’t completely take his mind off of what happened last night.

He couldn’t take his mind off Stephen.

Their friendship grew quickly. After defeating Thanos, they had come together again to get to work on fixing all of the problems that were still very present after bringing back half the universe a year after the snap. The sarcasm and bickering was still persistent between them, but that had only made them bond faster. What they went through on Titan cemented their trust in each other without either of them having to articulate it. Tony had stood up for Stephen when Secretary Ross had accused him of being a threat, and Stephen had supported Tony during the integration of Rogers and the other Rogues back into the Avengers.

Stephen was aware of Tony’s flirting with him, but wrote it off as just how Tony was with everyone. Until he started to realize that it wasn’t how Tony was with everyone, not exactly. His witty comments and teasing were also peppered with sincere interest in Stephen’s work and genuinely caring about his overall well being. They found themselves spending more time with each other than was necessary simply for their responsibilities as they became actual friends.

Last night had been a perfect example of that. Stephen had come over to Tony’s penthouse to help try to decipher communications Quill and the Guardians had sent from their latest mission in one galaxy or another. Tony felt a small smile pull at his lips as he recalled their interaction just hours earlier.

“ _I’ve never seen anything like this before,” Stephen said, clearly puzzled. “Are you sure Quill isn’t messing with you?”_

_Tony looked over at the sorcerer. “No,” he admitted before looking back down at the gibberish in front of them. “That is always entirely possible.”_

_Stephen laughed. “Well, if your programs aren’t able to figure it out, I’m not sure what to tell you. I can do some research, but I can’t promise anything.”_

“ _Will you promise to make Quill fall through a couple portals if he’s fucking with me?”_

“ _Deal,” Stephen agreed, looking back down at the tablet to try and hide his growing smile._

_Tony’s eyes stayed trained on the man next to him. Luckily, he was able to form a sentence when Stephen looked back at him expectantly._

“ _You hungry?” Tony inquired. Stephen cocked an eyebrow in response. “I figure the least I could do is make you dinner after looking over this nonsense for the last two hours.”_

“ _You’ll need to order out, Boss,” FRIDAY chimed in helpfully._

“ _Even better,” Tony muttered. “Thanks, FRI.”_

“ _I could definitely eat. That would be great.”_

_They settled on pizza. Stephen hadn’t really seen Tony eat much else other than burgers and Chinese takeout. And Tony knew Stephen’s hands limited a lot of what he could do, including what he was comfortable eating in front of other people._

_After they finished almost the entire pizza, they remained on the couch in the living room, arguing lightheartedly over magic versus technology._

“ _I respect that you’re a convert,” Tony quipped. “I just don’t think I’ll ever get there.”_

_Stephen noted the slight change in Tony’s voice. “Get where?”_

“ _To being totally comfortable around it,” Tony replied with a small shrug._

_Stephen knew Tony was wary of magic, but he hadn’t realized the word the other man would use was uncomfortable._

“ _It’s not just because of Thanos, is it?” Stephen asked before he could stop himself._

_Tony gave him a sad smile and shook his head slightly. “No, although he sure as hell didn’t help.”_

_Stephen decided he was just going to let it be, and was trying to think of how to steer the conversation elsewhere when Tony continued._

“ _Loki started it with the infinity stone we didn’t know was an infinity stone and his mind control bullshit. And then the portal I almost didn’t come back from. Then Wanda...she showed me...” Tony swallowed hard. “She showed me everyone dead, and it was my fault. I created Ultron because of it, and things just went from bad to worse.”_

_Stephen regarded Tony for a few seconds. “Do I make you uncomfortable?”_

“ _No,” Tony answered immediately. “I think if I hadn’t met you the way that I did, you might. You’re more powerful than any of them. But your magic is just, different, I guess. You’re different.”_

“ _That has to be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Stephen teased. He watched Tony smile and felt his heart start to beat faster. “I have no desire to ever do anything like that to you, Tony.”_

“ _I know,” Tony breathed. “I trust you. It doesn’t bother me when you use it. You don’t bother me.”_

“ _Good to know,” Stephen mumbled, suddenly very aware of how close he was sitting to Tony._

_Stephen stayed perfectly still as Tony slowly leaned in towards him. His eyes were glued to the deep brown irises looking back at him. When it appeared that Tony was going to stop and retreat, Stephen let himself move forward to meet him halfway._

_Tony’s lips pressed against his almost hesitantly, so Stephen leaned in a bit more to seal them. Tony sighed at the feeling. He was getting lost in the simple pleasure when he felt Stephen’s lips part and his tongue teasing along his bottom lip. He opened his mouth to let his tongue flick against Stephen’s before sliding them together._

_One of Stephen’s shaky hands reached up into Tony’s hair to card through the soft strands. The other covered Tony’s hand that had made its way onto Stephen’s thigh. They kissed softly, lips and tongues moving together easily._

_But as the kiss went on, Stephen’s momentary lapse in judgment started to fade. He reminded himself of the reason why this wasn’t a good idea, why he had stopped himself from doing this up before now._

_He pulled away from Tony reluctantly, opening his eyes slowly. He watched as Tony took a second to open his own. The smile on his chapped lips suddenly disappeared upon looking at Stephen._

_Before he could inquire, the sorcerer was dropping his hand from Tony’s hair and standing quickly._

“ _I’m sorry,” Stephen almost whispered. “I should go.”_

_He was gone through a portal before Tony had a chance to register what was happening._

That had now been three days ago. Stephen promptly went off to another dimension to try and distract himself from replaying over and over what had happened with Tony the other night. But he was finding that to be quite impossible.

When he finally returned to the Sanctum, he was greeted by Wong’s less than impressed face.

“Next time you decide to disappear, could you at least let your annoying new friends know?”

Stephen raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Wong sighed. “I’m not your secretary, Strange. I can’t be expected to take frantic messages for you while you’re off gallivanting.”

“What are you talking about? Frantic messages from who?”

“The Avengers,” Wong replied. “Your pal Stark got himself all banged up again.”

Stephen felt his stomach lurch. “What happened to him?” he demanded.

“I’m not your sec-”

“God damn it! Just answer the fucking question!”

Wong wasn’t surprised at the outburst. He was well aware of his friend’s feelings towards the billionaire, even if it seemed Stephen himself was oblivious.

“There was a fire in an apartment building. He was making sure it was clear when it collapsed.” Stephen felt his head start to swim. “He’s fine, Strange. He was unconscious for a few hours but-"

The rest of Wong’s explanation fell on deaf ears. Or no ears, more accurately. Stephen was through the portal and at the Tower in less than three seconds. His sudden arrival in the main common area almost gave Rhodey a heart attack.

“There you are,” the Colonel said with a sigh. “Better late than never, I guess.”

“Where’s Tony?” Stephen didn’t care how desperate he sounded.

Rhodey noticed, but didn’t comment. “He’s upstairs, resting. Well, he’s supposed to be resting.”

“What happened?”

“He responded to a fire the fire department was having trouble getting to because of a bad accident. He got everyone out, and was going through to be sure when the building collapsed. He’s alright, but at first we weren’t sure. He got knocked out, but luckily the suit kept the smoke from getting in his lungs. Otherwise...”

Stephen didn’t need it explained. He knew all too well how much worse it could have been.

“He’s okay?” he asked, voice breaking slightly.

Rhodey nodded. “Yeah. But you should go upstairs. Check on him.”

If Stephen hadn’t been so worried, he would have picked up on the knowing tone of Rhodey’s voice. It should have occurred to him that Tony had likely told his best friend about what had happened between them. But at the moment, he couldn’t register anything other than his panic. So he nodded once and quickly made his way over to the elevator.

He was stepping out and into the penthouse what felt like half a second later.

The lights were dimmed, and it was eerily quiet. When Stephen had been here before he was always able to hear music coming from Tony’s lab, or the television in the living room, or Peter’s excited voice. The silence greeting him was unsettling, to say the least. He was about to turn around and go back downstairs, assuming Tony was sleeping, when he heard him call out.

“Kitchen, Doc.”

Stephen looked up at the ceiling instinctively, realizing FRIDAY would have of course alerted Tony that he was in the elevator. He took a deep breath and made his way into the kitchen, where he found Tony standing at the counter, apparently trying to make himself some coffee.

The sight of the other man made Stephen’s breath hitch in his throat.

A dark bruise covered the right side of Tony’s face from his eye to his hairline. Scratches littered his cheek and jaw, with several stretching down to his neck. But despite all that, he smiled when he saw Stephen.

“Are you okay?”

Tony nodded, wincing slightly. “Fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“Thanks?”

Stephen fought the urge to roll his eyes. “You should be lying down.”

“I was. But then I got thirsty.”

“You shouldn’t be drinking caffeine with a concussion.”

“Who says I have a concussion?”

“The massive contusion to your head, the dimmed lights, and complete silence,” Stephen listed.

A smirk started to form on Tony’s lips. “FRIDAY locked me out of everything, including the coffee maker. So looks like you win there.” Stephen just looked at him. “I’m okay, really. Rhodey’s got me on house arrest.”

“He was trying to call me, I guess. But I was...”

“Unreachable?” Tony supplied.

Stephen sighed. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

Tony shrugged. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Neither did you,” Stephen blurted. Tony’s head tilted slightly to the side questioningly. “The other night. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Stephen, you don’t have to make me feel better just because I-”

“I’m not trying to make you feel better,” Stephen interrupted. “Well, I guess I am, but I’m not just saying that. It’s true. I was trying to figure out how to explain it to you, and then Wong told me what happened and I was so worried...” He trailed off, running a trembling hand through his already disheveled hair.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. You don’t owe me anything. I get it, I crossed the line, and I’m sorry.”

Stephen shook his head. “No, _you_ don’t get it.” He watched confusion take over Tony’s face. “Can we talk about it? It’s okay if you don’t want to right now. I don’t have any right to just barge in here when you’re not feeling well and start making demands.”

Tony smiled softly, almost sadly. “I’m up for it if you are.”

Stephen nodded his response and followed Tony into the living room. They settled onto the couch, mirroring their positions from the other night, but farther apart.

Tony took the initiative to talk first.

“Look, I’m really sorry for what I did. I thought I read the situation right. I thought you felt the same way I do, but I should have just told you instead of coming onto you like that.”

“You did read it right,” Stephen sighed. “I do feel the same way you do. At least, I think anyway, not knowing exactly how you feel. But I panicked because...I’m not even sure how to explain it...”

“Stephen, you don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Tony repeated gently.

“But I want to,” Stephen replied. “I want you to know that I have feelings for you. But I was never going to act on them because of my, uh, issue.”

Tony opted to remain quiet and let Stephen say whatever it is he clearly wanted to say in his own time.

He seemed to ponder his words before continuing. “Do you know anything about my accident?”

The genius was a bit taken aback by that. He shook his head slightly. “I remember hearing it on the news when it happened. But not much other than that.”

“My hands were destroyed, obviously,” Stephen said, holding them up to display his scars. “That’s why I went to Kamar-Taj. But it was a lot more than just my hands. My neck, back, shoulders. The nerve damage was extensive. As I was trying to fix my hands, I was realizing the other affects it had had on me.”

Tony tried to decipher what Stephen was hinting at. Maybe it was the lingering symptoms of his concussion, but he just wasn’t able to piece it together quite yet.

“I wanted you to kiss me the other night. Hell, I kissed you back. I had wanted to do that for a while, but didn’t because I was nervous.”

“Why?” Tony prompted gently when Stephen fell quiet.

“Because I can’t...with the nerve damage, I’m not able to...” he took a shaky breath. “Fuck, this is so much harder to talk about than I thought. Jesus Christ.”

Tony was about to insist that he didn’t need to talk about anything he didn’t want to, but Stephen’s eyes meeting his silenced him.

“My body doesn’t respond the way that it used to,” Stephen finally managed. “I don’t, uh, get...aroused, anymore. Well, I do. Kind of. But not in the same way. It’s like my brain doesn’t connect, so there’s no reaction, for lack of a better term.”

Realization dawned on Tony. Seeing it spread onto his face gave Stephen a sudden burst of confidence.

“I can’t have sex,” Stephen finally stated. “I can’t...perform, I guess is how to say it. And I didn’t know how to tell you that, so I panicked and just ran away from you.”

“Jesus,” Tony breathed. “I’m so sorry, Stephen.” The sorcerer was about to say he didn’t need to be, because he was okay with it, but then understood that wasn’t what Tony had meant. “I should have just told you what I was thinking, how I felt. Feel. How I feel. I shouldn’t have just-”

“Tony,” Stephen interrupted calmly. “I’m not mad at you. It wasn’t you, I freaked myself out. You didn’t do anything I wasn’t okay with. I just got nervous that things would progress and I wouldn’t be able to, uh, keep up, I guess.”

Tony was shaking his head the entire time Stephen was speaking. “I should have talked to you first. I can’t believe I-”

“Please, just listen to me,” Stephen cut him off again. “You didn’t do anything wrong. That’s why I wanted to tell you, because I realize my behavior would make you think otherwise, and I couldn’t let you think that. It wasn’t anything you did. My mind just jumped to the logical progression of what adults tend to do when they like each other and start kissing.” His attempt to lighten the mood fell flat. Stephen sighed. “I’m sorry. I should have just been honest with you right away.”

“Nuh uh,” Tony scoffed. “No way you get to apologize if I don’t. That’s not happening.”

Stephen smiled slightly. “Okay. How about neither of us apologizes then?”

Tony looked like he was about to try and argue, but then decided not to. “Fine,” he relented.

Stephen nodded his agreement. They fell into a steady silence for several moments, which gave Stephen the opportunity to really see how tired and sore Tony looked. He was about to comment on that, but Tony spoke before he could.

“So, we like each other, right?” Tony groaned as soon as the words were out of his mouth at how silly it sounded.

Stephen breathed a laugh. “It seems that way, yeah. I like you. I have feelings for you. But I get that that’s not going to get me anywhere.”

Tony frowned. “What does that mean?”

“I understand that it’s not enough.”

“What’s not enough?” Tony searched Stephen’s icy eyes, but found his own confusion mirrored in them. “You gotta help me out here, Doc. I’ve got a bit of a headache, and you’re starting to lose me.”

Stephen just looked back at him as if it were the simplest thing in the world to understand.

“Do you mean that you think because you can’t have sex, that I don’t want to be with you?”

“It’s not that I just can’t have sex,” Stephen said. “I can’t do anything sexual. Well, I guess I could, because I don’t have to be able to get it up to do stuff to you-”

“Stephen.” Tony said firmly enough to stop the other man from beginning a rambling tangent. “I don’t care about any of that. I don’t just have a little crush on you. I really care about you. I know I have a terrible reputation, and that it’s my own fault, but that’s not what I’m after.”

“I wasn’t thinking about your reputation. It’s just a fact that sex is usually an important aspect to a relationship.”

“Yep,” Tony agreed. “But it’s not necessary. Not if there’s more there than just physical attraction. Which, on my end, there is.”

“Well, yeah, on my end too. But I don’t expect you to give anything up for me. That’s not reasonable.”

Tony laughed. “If I’ve proven nothing else to you, it’s that I am very rarely reasonable. What’s not reasonable is letting something insignificant get in the way of something that could be so great.”

“It’s not insig-”

“Compared to everything else? Yes, it is.” Tony ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I can’t say I blame you for being wary of wanting to try anything with me. That makes total sense. If that’s the case, no hard feelings. Really, I get it. But I’m not going to let you try to convince me that not being able to have sex with you changes how I feel about you. Because it doesn’t.”

Stephen gaped. This was not how he was expecting this conversation to go. He expected Tony to be surprised, feel bad for him, and let him down easy. He was not prepared for the other man to be the one fighting for Stephen to want to be with him.

“Maybe not at first,” Stephen finally replied. “But eventually, it will. Do you really think you would be okay with a relationship with absolutely zero sex?”

“If it’s with you? Yes.” Tony watched as Stephen tried to comprehend what he was saying. “I understand why you don’t believe me. And you shouldn’t have to be talked into this. But I just...I know that I’m really lucky to have you in my life at all. So whatever you’re comfortable with, I’m on board.”

Stephen saw nothing but sincerity in Tony’s brown eyes. It both elated and scared him.

“You’re exhausted,” he said, changing the path of the conversation slightly. “This wasn’t fair to throw at you right now.”

“Oh please. My brain has had to handle much more difficult problems with a lot more than just a headache.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t make me feel any better,” Stephen sighed. “So maybe we don’t decide anything right now. You need to rest. Sleep on it, okay?”

“You think I’m going to come to my senses in the morning?”

Stephen shrugged slightly. “I don’t think rest will cause any harm.”

Tony nodded. “For the record, I would sleep for a week if it would make you believe me.”

“It’s not that I don’t believe you, I just...I think you should be sure.”

“I am sure,” Tony said with a warm smile. “But I’m willing to indulge you.”

Stephen rolled his eyes dramatically. “Thanks,” he mumbled. “It’s just probably better that you don’t jump into anything.” He noted the smirk on Tony’s lips. “What?”

“Nothing,” Tony said with a small shrug. “I just really can’t wait to prove you wrong.”

***

Stephen felt his heart flutter when he heard the knock at the door of the Sanctum two days later. He had been expecting a phone call yesterday, expecting Tony to let him know he had been right and that they would be better off staying friends.

He really needed to remember that Tony Stark wasn’t all that predictable.

“Hey Tony,” Stephen greeted as he opened the door. The bruise on his forehead was starting to fade, and he looked much better than he had the other day. “How are you feeling?” Stephen stepped aside to allow the shorter man to enter.

“Great,” Tony replied with a bright smile. “Who knew rest was actually a good thing?”

“Most people know that,” Stephen said with a sigh.

Tony shrugged. “I’m not most people, you know that much by now.” The billionaire watched as Stephen shifted slightly. “Are you busy? Can we talk for a second? I was going to call first, but was out already.”

“Let’s go into the study.”

Tony followed Stephen upstairs into the small room lined with books. He hadn’t been through most of the Sanctum, despite his numerous visits here, but this was his favorite room thus far.

They settled into the arm chairs on either side of the coffee table. Stephen was about to offer Tony a drink when the other man spoke first.

“You were right. Sleeping on it definitely helped.”

Stephen just nodded slightly as he braced himself for what he thought was coming next.

“I actually like you more now than I did two days ago.”

The sorcerer shook his head slightly. “Wait. What?”

“I like you more,” Tony repeated. “My feelings changed, like you said. But not the way you thought they were going to.”

“Tony, I-”

“Just tell me the truth,” Tony interrupted. “I get what you told me the other day was extremely hard for you, and I really appreciate you being honest with me about it. I get that we’re not together or anything, but I’d like to be. I’d like to try. But if you don’t, that’s okay. I just want you in my life, in whatever way you want.”

Stephen found himself speaking before he even realized he was going to. “I want to try, too. I just didn’t think it was fair to you.”

“You were upfront with me right away, even though you didn’t need to be. Nothing could be fairer than that.” The look in Tony’s eyes could be described as nothing short of complete determination.

“You’re serious,” Stephen stated more than asked.

Tony smiled. “Yeah, for once I’m being serious. But I hope not too aggressive, or anything,” he said, deflating slightly.

“No, no, you’re not. I’m just really surprised.”

“I guess that’s my own fault.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Stephen corrected quickly. He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting sex as part of a relationship. Hell, it was pretty much the only part of a relationship I wanted before my accident. I just didn’t think you’d feel strongly enough about me that it would be okay.”

“I’d like to show you how strongly I feel about you,” Tony breathed. “Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night?”

“Are you asking me on a date?” Stephen tried to tease, but his voice didn’t have the necessary tone to get it done. Instead it came out soft.

“Yes,” Tony answered.

Stephen ignored the part of his brain telling him this wasn’t a good idea. “Yeah. I’d love to have dinner with you.”

The light that flashed into Tony’s eyes quashed all of the insecurities Stephen was feeling at the moment.

***

When they decided on dinner at the tower, Stephen was expecting to eat in Tony’s kitchen, like they had the handful of times he had eaten there with the billionaire.

But this was a date. So Tony had pulled out all the stops.

Stephen was directed to the terrace by FRIDAY when he stepped out of the elevator into Tony’s penthouse. He crossed through the kitchen to the living room, where the double doors to the outside were standing open. Stephen came to a stop when he saw the setup.

There was a fire burning in the small stone fire pit. In front of it, candles had been placed strategically around the glasses, wine bottle, basket of bread, and plates waiting for dinner. Stephen could only stare.

“Too much?”

Stephen turned to see Tony standing a few feet behind him in the living room. He was wearing dark gray jeans and a maroon sweater that accentuated his brown eyes and chestnut hair. The shy smile on his face made Stephen’s breath hitch slightly.

“No,” he managed. “It’s beautiful.”

The other man walked the rest of the way over to stand next to Stephen. “I just wanted it to be nice,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Believe it or not, I don’t have much experience with real dates with someone I actually care about.”

“Neither do I.” Stephen’s smile eased Tony’s nerves. “This is perfect.”

Tony felt his own smile forming. “Good. Dinner is ready, go have a seat and I’ll bring it right out.”

Stephen was about to offer to help, but saw the excitement in Tony’s eyes, so he decided to let him play dutiful host. He went outside onto the terrace, noting that the fire was keeping it perfectly warm as the early summer night began to fall over New York.

He settled into the chair on the left before picking up the bottle of wine. He was just about done filling his own glass after Tony’s when the genius reappeared with two plates of steaming food that smelled fantastic.

Shrimp scampi. His favorite.

Tony put the plates down on the table before fidgeting with his hands slightly.

“Do you want salad? I hate salad, so I didn’t even think of it. But that’s a normal thing to have before dinner, so I could-”

“I don’t like salad either,” Stephen chimed in. “This is great, Tony. Join me?” Tony sat down across from him and looked around the table to make sure everything they needed was there. “I thought you weren’t much of a wine drinker?” Stephen said to pull Tony’s attention away from worrying.

“I’m not, but I know you like it. And that way I won’t drink too much,” Tony said with a short laugh.

Stephen’s hand stopped as it closed around his glass. “I’d be fine with just water if that’s what you’d prefer,” he said carefully.

He knew Tony had struggled with alcohol for most of his life. Early on in their friendship there had been a few nights when he had seen Tony at less than his best, but knew the other man had had a much better handle on it as of late.

“No, no,” Tony said with a wave of his hand. He lifted his own glass and took a sip as if to emphasize his point. “That was a stupid joke. But, uh, if you’d rather I didn’t drink, I don’t mind. I know I was out of control a couple of times-”

“Tony,” Stephen interjected. “That’s not what I meant. Not at all.” He exhaled slowly. “I guess I’m just nervous.”

“You’re nervous?” Tony huffed. “I changed three times and probably paced ten miles around here today.”

Stephen laughed lightly. “Well, you look great. But it’s probably my fault you were so nervous in the first place. I don’t want you to think that I don’t want to be here or that I’m wary of you.”

“I just wanted to try and show you how I feel,” Tony said. “I’m not good at saying it. Obviously. I know we don’t know each other all that well yet, but I could tell there was something about you right from the start. And the more time we spent together...it just feels right, being around you.”

“You’re nothing at all like I thought you were going to be,” Stephen said as he picked up his fork to begin eating, mostly to make Tony follow suit. He knew the other man had less than stellar eating habits. He smiled when he saw Tony look at him for a second before grabbing his own utensils.

“That’s a good thing, I hope.”

“A very good thing. Don’t get me wrong, you’re still the overly confident, sarcastic pain in the ass I initially pegged you for. But you’re much more than just that, and that’s why I’ve been so drawn to you.”

“I’m honestly shocked I haven’t scared you off yet.”

Stephen smiled softly. “At this point it looks like you’re just not going to be able to.”

They ate their meals over an easy flow of conversation. After the initial anxiety had gone away, it was as if they were just hanging out as they had before, but now it was just in a more romantic setting. Tony cleared the table after they finished and brought out chocolate cake for dessert, admitting that he hadn’t made it, but it was just too good not to have. They sat for well over an hour afterwards, talking and laughing with one another.

The fire started to die down, and the wind had picked up just enough that it was starting to get chilly. They moved inside to the living room, settling into Tony’s comfortable couch with mugs of hot coffee and tea. Stephen watched as Tony shifted a few times while there was a lull in the conversation to accommodate for them enjoying their drinks.

“You have more questions about what I told you the other day,” Stephen observed out loud.

Tony’s eyes flicked up from his hands to meet Stephen’s. “I, uh, I just don’t...” he sighed. “I don’t want to do anything wrong, or anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“So ask me what you want to ask me.”

Tony chewed his lip briefly before putting his mug down on the coffee table. “You said that you were okay with the kiss.”

Stephen nodded. “It’s not a lack of physical attraction. I’m not asexual, although I’ve become disinterested in sex due to the fact that my body just doesn’t have those same responses or feelings anymore. But I still want physical intimacy.”

“So what do you want?” Tony inquired. “What do you like?”

The direct yet thoughtful question made Stephen falter slightly. “Honestly, I don’t really know.” He looked down at his shaky hands clasped around his mug. “I haven’t even considered any sort of relationship with anyone since my accident. I can tell you that kissing is more than okay, and I know that that’s pretty much it when you take away everything else.”

“What about your hands?” Tony asked carefully. Stephen looked back up at him. “Like, holding hands? I know they’re really sensitive, and hurt you more often than they don’t, so it’s fine if that’s a no go. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to be playing defense around me. I know this isn’t easy to talk about, but I want to go at your pace, whatever that is.”

Stephen swallowed hard to try and push down the emotion that had thickened his throat at Tony’s genuine concern for his feelings.

“There will be days I can hold your hand, and days I can’t. But I don’t really know what my pace is,” he admitted. “I don’t know how to navigate all of this. I guess that’s why I was so nervous.”

“That’s fine,” Tony said softly. “I have no idea what I’m doing, which is the only thing I’m afraid of. So let’s make some rules, yeah?”

Stephen raised an eyebrow. “Rules?”

“Number one. We’ll take things slow, but you are absolutely required to tell me if I take something too far. Too much kissing, or if my hands wander somewhere you don’t want, whatever.”

“I’m required?” Stephen said with a small smirk.

“Yes. It’s a rule.”

“Okay,” Stephen laughed. “I can do that.”

“Number two. You will promise me right now that you aren’t going to do anything that you don’t want to.”

“What do you mean?”

“The other day, you said you didn’t need to be able to, um, to _get it up_ to do stuff to me.”

“Right.”

Tony shook his head slowly. “That’s not...you can’t do that.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

Stephen sighed. “Tony, I don’t think we should pretend that this isn’t going to be a problem. You’re going to want things that I’m not going to be able to fully participate in, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t-”

“You said you don’t get aroused anymore.”

“I don’t,” Stephen agreed.

“So right now, sitting next to me, you feel the same way you would if we had been making out for an hour.”

“No, not exactly. I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t really get turned on, but I’m not appalled by the thought of sexual contact. And I was thinking that if we’re going to be together, that it’s not realistic to expect you to not want me to...partake, because you will get aroused and I can still be useful.”

Tony was staring at him as if he was trying to explain a complicated spell in an alien language while extra heads sprouted from his neck.

“I don’t want you to be useful,” Tony said. “I don’t want you to do something you’re not going to be enjoying, that absolutely cannot happen.”

“It wouldn’t be that bad, I can still-”

“Stephen,” Tony stopped him firmly. The sorcerer was taken aback upon noticing tears filling the other man’s dark brown eyes. “There will never be a situation where I want you to do something that ‘isn’t that bad.’ I’m aware of the fact that my own hands are my only option at this point, and I’m more than fine with that because I want everything else you have to offer. I don’t want...” he took a shaky breath. “You don’t owe me a god damn thing, do you understand that? You are not obligated to do anything with me that you’re not comfortable with. Not being appalled isn’t good enough, that’s not right. Knowing that you wouldn’t be enjoying it...”

Tony trailed off and had to tear his eyes away from Stephen’s. He could tell Stephen was concerned that his limitation would affect their relationship and was trying to do whatever he could to make sure Tony would be satisfied.

“I would enjoy doing something that I knew you liked,” Stephen offered. “But I do concede that it wouldn’t be the same level as it would have been before my accident.”

Tony moved a bit closer so he could reach out and put a hand on Stephen’s knee. “I know you don’t think that this can work because I’ll want sex and you don’t, but this also won’t work if you’re doing anything outside of your comfort zone. I can promise you that I would rather castrate myself than ever put you in a position where you feel like you have to do something like that to keep me happy.”

“Can I make a rule then?” Stephen asked, voice breaking slightly. Tony merely nodded. “If you’re not happy, you have to tell me. You can’t try and force this just to spare my feelings.”

“Easy,” Tony agreed immediately. “Especially since that’s never going to happen.” When Stephen gave him an unimpressed look, Tony smiled and squeezed his leg firmly. “I’m already happier than I ever thought I could be, and we’re one day into this. I know it won’t be perfect or easy every single day, but I also know it’s only going to get better.”

“How are you so sure?” Stephen asked out of genuine and complete curiosity. “You’re giving up something so important and getting nothing in return.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Stephen stared at Tony for a second to make sure he had heard him correctly. “And why is that?”

“I’m not giving up anything, and I’m gaining everything. You’re more important to me than sex is. Yes, I am very attracted to you. And I’ve thought about having sex with you. Kind of a lot. But not as much as I’ve thought about everything else that would come with being with you.”

The only response was Stephen’s gray eyes staying trained on him. Tony smiled.

“I’m not in my twenties anymore. I know I’m still a train wreck of a human being, but I’d like to think I’ve come to realize what’s really important since one of my own missiles sent shrapnel into my chest. I know what I want. I know how you make me feel, and I know that I want more of it. There might be a million reasons why this won’t work, but not having sex isn’t one of them.”

“Well,” Stephen forced out before clearing his throat. “I think you’re an idiot for wanting to be with me at all, so I guess we’re even.”

“I can’t fight you there, Doc.” Tony finally released his hold on Stephen’s leg and sat back against the couch. “This was kind of a lot for a first date conversation, huh?”

Stephen laughed. “Considering how well we already know each other, I don’t think it was too much. And I’m glad we did it, got it out of the way.”

“So I didn’t ruin it?”

“Of course not. And after that amazing dinner, I don’t think anything could have ruined it.”

“It’s almost as if you’re challenging me.”

“I can assure you I am not,” Stephen said, but his smile betrayed him.

“Should I save that for the second date, then?”

Stephen hummed. “And the third. And the fourth.”

Tony’s smile would have outshone all the lights in New York City if put to the test.

***

Tony did not ruin the second date.

Or the third, or the fourth.

Everything was working fairly well between them. There were frustrating moments caused by their responsibilities with their jobs and their ever conflicting schedules. But they always wanted to make time to spend together, and for the most part, it was great.

So that was why Stephen was able to immediately notice when Tony was acting differently, because he had something solid to compare it to. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, not right away, and that made his mind jump to what he felt was the most obvious reason when it persisted for several days.

There just seemed to be a gap in their relationship. Intimacy is usually helped along by physical contact, and between them, that had been limited. Anything they did was initiated by Stephen – kissing, holding hands, cuddling on the couch. They hadn’t yet slept in the same bed together, and the sorcerer was beginning to think that that simply wasn’t going to be part of their relationship. At the end of every day they spent together, either he would leave Tony’s place, or Tony would leave the Sanctum. At first that wasn’t odd, but now that they had been together for almost two months, it was starting to weigh on Stephen’s mind.

He was ripped from his thoughts when he noticed Tony staring at him.

“Are you okay?” he asked when Stephen’s eyes met his.

The taller man swallowed. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

Tony’s brow furrowed slightly. “I’m fine, just a little on the tired side I guess.” He shifted closer to Stephen, closing the distance between them on the couch in the Sanctum’s study. “What were you so lost in thought about?”

The look in Stephen’s eyes said more than words could, but he tried anyway.

“Just trying to convince myself that this isn’t going to start going downhill.”

“Why would it?” Tony asked, concern edging into his voice.

“You know why.”

Tony sighed as he raked his fingers through his hair. “That’s not what this is about.”

Stephen cocked an eyebrow. “How can you know what this is about when I’m the one who brought it up?”

“Fair point,” Tony muttered. He looked down at his hands in his lap. “You want to know why I don’t want you to sleep at my place. Or why I don’t want to sleep here.”

Stephen gaped. His stunned silence made Tony look back up at him.

“I’ve noticed how awkward you get when it’s time for one of us to leave,” Tony said with a small smile. “You’re not very good at hiding it.”

“Well, you’re not entirely right. I know why you don’t want to.”

“No, you don’t. You think it’s because we can’t have sex, so in my mind there would be no point in sleeping in the same bed together. But that’s not it.”

Stephen heard the sincerity in the other man’s voice, and saw the same reflected in his eyes. “So what is it?” he asked gently.

“I don’t really sleep,” Tony admitted quietly. “I toss and turn most of the night. I get up and go to my lab. And when I do sleep...I have really bad nightmares. Worse than nightmares. I wake up screaming, or not able to breathe at all, and I freak out because I think someone’s attacking me and I can’t...I just have a panic attack for the rest of the night, usually.”

“I didn’t know that,” Stephen said softly.

Tony breathed a short laugh. “That was the point. I didn’t want you to know that. I never asked you to stay over or anything because I don’t want you to see me like that. I don’t want to do that to you.”

Stephen wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that, so he stayed quiet for the time being, but reached over and carefully threaded his fingers through Tony’s. He could tell right away, even with his own tremors, that Tony’s hand was shaking.

“The drinking helped, for the most part,” he sighed. “But I know that’s not the right solution. There really isn’t one. Medication doesn’t help, because my mind always conjures up these awful dreams. I can’t stop it.”

“I think I can,” Stephen was saying before he had even realized he was going to speak.

Tony raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I can stop the dreams,” he replied with a nod, more to himself than to Tony. “There’s a spell for it. I’ve used it on myself before, to help me sleep.” Tony stared back at him with wide eyes. “It’s not permanent, that would be too disruptive to your brain function. But for a few nights, to get you the rest you need and try and get back into a sleep cycle, it works. It does for me, anyway.”

“Are you allowed to do that?” Tony wondered out loud.

Stephen smiled. “The only approval I need is yours.” Tony’s gaze faltered slightly. “I understand if you don’t trust me to. I know how you feel about magic, especially used directly on you-”

“I trust you,” Tony interrupted confidently.

He didn’t need to say it. Stephen was thinking the same thing. That this would be a level of intimacy between them that could bridge the gap they had been dealing with. It was an opportunity for Tony to show Stephen the same trust and comfort with him that Stephen had given from the very beginning.

“How does it work?”

“It’s a simple spell. It doesn’t make you sleepy, or keep you under or anything like that. You’ll fall asleep naturally, but you won’t have any nightmares. No dreams at all, good or bad. You’ll likely sleep longer than you usually do because you won’t be woken up by anything, but I won’t be keeping you asleep.”

Tony nodded slowly. “Will you be able to sleep too?”

“Yes, the spell will stay active when you’re asleep, and will lift when you’re fully awake and up for the day. Or when I end it, if you wanted it to be sooner.”

It suddenly started to weigh on Tony just how tired he was. He could feel it in his muscles, every part of his body. A dull ache persisted in his head, and he could swear his vision was starting to go a bit fuzzy. Curling up in a nice warm bed with Stephen sounded like the best possible thing that could ever happen.

“Will you do it for me?” Tony asked, his voice breaking slightly.

Stephen wanted to cry at the desperation he saw in those brown eyes. “Of course I will. I would do anything for you, Tony.”

The sorcerer was being drawn into a tight hug before he could register that Tony was moving towards him. He returned the embrace happily, holding onto the other man as he felt the tension in his body start to wane. Stephen felt Tony release a long, shaky breath before he pulled back, averting his eyes from Stephen’s gaze almost shyly.

“I’m sorry I made you think it was because I didn’t want to sleep in the same bed as you. I just don’t want to wake you up in the middle of the night like that. The only person I’ve slept with and had a nightmare next to was Pepper, and I think that’s when it started to really go downhill with us. With all my other bullshit, it was just too much.”

Stephen shook his head slightly. “I can’t speak to what happened between you two, but I can tell you that it’s not going to drive us apart that you have trouble sleeping. I do, too. Between going back and forth to Kamar-Taj and running around in different dimensions, I’m a mess. And I’d rather sit up and be a mess with you than make you think you have to do anything alone.”

“Thank you,” Tony whispered against the emotion thickening his throat. “I, uh, don’t know what else to say.”

“You mean to tell me I’ve rendered Tony Stark speechless?” Stephen joked, effectively lightening the mood.

Tony breathed a laugh. “If anyone had the capability, it’s you, Doc.”

Stephen smiled as they let a comfortable silence fall. As he watched Tony, he saw just how tired the other man was. Every breath seemed to be requiring him to use all of his remaining energy. After a few minutes, Stephen couldn’t let Tony force himself to stay awake anymore.

“Do you want to go back to your place and get some sleep?”

Tony considered for less than a second. “Can we stay here? Is that okay?”

“Of course,” Stephen said with a nod. “I just thought you’d want to sleep in your own bed.”

“I don’t have the energy to go back across town,” Tony admitted. Stephen nodded again, silently understanding that portals were still too much for Tony. “And I’m definitely comfortable here. Wherever you are, I’m good.”

Stephen nodded with a smile. “Let’s go to bed then.”

“I know it’s only a little past ten. Is that too early? We don’t have to right now if you-”

“Tony,” Stephen stopped him gently. “You’re exhausted. I’m pretty tired myself. No need to prolong it, right?”

Tony merely nodded his agreement as Stephen stood before getting up himself to follow the sorcerer to his bedroom. He stayed in the doorway, unsure of what he should do. Stephen immediately went over to the rather large dresser on the far side of the room and rummaged around in one of the middle drawers for a second before walking back over to Tony, extending a bundle of clothes out to him.

“If you want to shower or anything, feel free. Although, I have to warn you, there’s no way my shower is as good as that giant one you have.”

Tony felt a smile tugging at his tired face. “No, I’m okay. Thank you though.”

He walked over to the bed and put the clothes down so he could tug his sweater over his head. He went to pick up the t shirt Stephen had given him when he noticed the other man staring at him. Tony froze when he realized that they hadn’t seen each other without their clothes on. Granted, Tony was still mostly dressed, but he could feel Stephen’s eyes fixed on the mess of scar tissue covering his chest.

“Fuck,” Tony exhaled. “I forgot about that...sorry,” he muttered as he turned to head into the bathroom.

A shaking hand landing on his wrist stopped him. Tony looked at the scarred fingers for a second before raising his eyes to look at Stephen, whose own eyes were tracing the map of scars stretching across Tony’s skin. He released Tony’s hand and moved it hesitantly towards his chest, his gray eyes flicking up to meet Tony’s.

He nodded just enough for Stephen to make note of it. Stephen let the tips of his fingers brush over the raised tissue, a barely there touch. He saw more than felt the shiver that ran through Tony.

The doctor in him was immediately able to recognize three different sets of scars tangled into one web. Jagged lines from the blast. The initial surgery implanting the arc reactor. Its removal. And then a single thick, diagonal scar crossing through where the reactor would have been in the middle of Tony’s chest.

It was roughly the width of a certain shield.

Stephen withdrew his hand and looked back at Tony. “You’re incredible,” he observed aloud.

Tony would have laughed if he had had any air in his lungs. He had to wait several moments to be able to respond.

“I forgot you hadn’t seen them,” he finally said lamely. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“You didn’t,” Stephen replied immediately. “I might not have a sex drive anymore, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate how stunning you are.”

He tried to identify each emotion that flashed across Tony’s eyes, but couldn’t put a name to all of them, so instead he took a step back to give the other man some room.

Stephen went back over to his dresser to grab his own clothes to sleep in. Once Tony came back to himself, he continued changing, while also taking note of Stephen doing the same out of the corner of his eye.

Talk about stunning.

Everything about Stephen was pale and long. His milky skin somehow accentuated his perfectly toned muscles. His stomach was flat, his shoulders broad, and his legs clearly powerful.

Tony pulled the thin sweatpants he had been given over his boxers and sat down on the bed, turning away from Stephen, before he got too invested in what he was looking at. He lifted his head to gaze up at the taller man when he heard him come stand next to where he was sitting.

“Shit, is this your side?” Tony asked when Stephen looked down at him.

“No,” Stephen assured with a slight laugh. “I just wanted to ask if you needed anything. Water, maybe?”

Tony shook his head, and the action seemed to drain the last of his energy. It was all he could do not to just fall to the side and pass out right then and there.

“I’m fine, thank you,” he said quietly.

Stephen nodded once before going back around the bed to the other side. He pulled the covers back and climbed in. Tony waited for him to settle in before following suit. He propped himself up on the soft pillows and looked over at Stephen.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked.

“You don’t have to do anything,” Stephen explained. “You’ll just fall asleep naturally, and the spell will take care of the rest.”

“Okay,” Tony almost sighed. He chewed his lip, seemingly unsure of himself.

Stephen extended his left arm and turned slightly towards Tony. “Come here,” he invited softly.

Tony all but fell forward towards him.

He was greeted by Stephen’s firm chest, and his long arm wrapping around his shoulders. They shifted until they were laying down flat, cuddled against the pillows, Tony’s left leg bent forward and slotted between Stephen’s. The brunet curled his left arm around Stephen’s waist and let his hand rest on the other’s lean hip.

Tony let out a long breath as he nuzzled into the warmth Stephen was providing.

“Is this okay?” Tony asked quietly against Stephen’s chest.

“This is perfect, Tony,” Stephen assured. “Get some rest. I’ve got you.”

When Tony woke up the next morning (almost afternoon) he felt as if he had just closed his eyes seconds ago. But he felt more well rested than he could ever remember feeling.

The calm that was surrounding him was nothing short of incredible. His heart was beating slowly but steadily, his breathing even, his body relaxed. As he slowly became aware of his whereabouts again, he realized he was still curled up around Stephen, virtually exactly how he had been when they had first cuddled up under the sheets.

The sigh that left his lungs when he felt a trembling hand brush through his hair was of pure content.

“How are you feeling?” Stephen asked softly.

“Really good,” Tony mumbled into the side of Stephen’s neck. “I don’t think I’ve ever slept that well before.” Stephen’s reply was to press a short kiss to the top of Tony’s head. “Did you sleep okay?” he inquired, lifting his head so he could look up at the other man. “I didn’t mean to cling to you all night like a koala bear.”

Stephen laughed. “You’re way cuter than a koala bear.” His smile grew at the blush that flashed onto Tony’s cheeks. “I slept well, too. Better than I have in a while.”

“So, this can be a regular thing?” Tony asked hesitantly. “Not the spell, I know you can’t do that all the time. I get that. I mean us, having sleepovers. Not every night, I know I’m a lot and you need your space but-”

Tony was cut off by Stephen’s lips pressing against his.

“This can most definitely be a regular thing,” Stephen promised. “I could really get used to cuddling with a koala bear all the time.”

Tony let his head fall back to Stephen’s shoulder as he let out a laugh. “You may have just created a monster, Stephen.”

“You don’t scare me,” the sorcerer assured him.

The words meant more than just in regards to their sleeping arrangements, and Tony knew that.

It felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest, and he could finally take a deep breath.

***

One of the few people who knew about their relationship was Peter. The last thing they wanted to deal with was incessant news stories and inquiries from the Avengers, so they kept it to close friends and a certain teenager that they were both overly fond of.

Said teenager was clearly on the verge of a breakdown, however.

Peter had come over to the lab after school, as was his usual Thursday routine. Tony noticed right away that he was uncharacteristically quiet and reserved, but he didn’t want to pry. He knew Peter would speak up if he wanted to.

It just took a little longer than it usually did.

“Mr. Stark, can I talk to you about something?”

Tony turned away from the hologram he was working with and fully faced Peter. If his behavior all afternoon hadn’t been enough of an indicator that something was wrong, the tone of his voice certainly was.

“Of course, kid. What’s up?”

He sat at the desk across from Peter, who was clearly having a tough time with how to begin. He was chewing his lip so much Tony started to worry it was going to split open.

“It’s kind of...awkward. Okay, not kind of. It’s very awkward. So if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. I get it. It’s just not something I can talk about with May, I don’t think. But I can try if you-”

“Pete,” Tony said, stopping him gently. “Take a breath. I’ll talk to you about anything you want, okay? Just take your time.”

“I don’t really know how to say it,” Peter said, taking a deep breath. “But I, uh, I think there’s something wrong with me.”

Tony felt his heart skip a beat. “Like you’re sick? What do you mean?”

“No, not like that. I think maybe it’s because of what happened to me, but I can’t be sure.”

It was difficult, but Tony forced himself to sit calmly and give Peter the chance to say what he wanted to say. He was a lot more worried than he was a few moments ago, but knew showing his concern or jumping into an interrogation to figure out what was going on would only make Peter more upset.

Finally, the teenager began rambling. “I thought I just wasn’t there yet, or whatever, but I’m seventeen now and I should be doing what all the other kids are doing. But I don’t want to. Maybe it’s because of the bite, but I’m not interested in any of that. It feels like something’s wrong with me.”

“Not interested in what?” Tony prompted when Peter fell silent.

“Sex,” Peter eventually answered, dropping his eyes to the table between them. “I think I’m asexual.”

“Oh,” Tony said, trying not to show relief. “That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.”

Peter shook his head. “It feels like there is. It doesn’t make any sense. I like MJ. A lot. I have feelings for her, I know that much. But thinking about anything other than kissing a little...I just don’t want to do that. I tried to, uh, look at stuff on the Internet. I thought maybe I just didn’t know enough, but it didn’t work. Nothing works, I don’t ever feel...that way.”

“That’s okay,” Tony said as he tried to think of what to say.

Before he could go on, Peter seemed to snap.

“How can I ever have a relationship with anyone?” he wanted to know. “No one is ever going to want to date me if I don’t want to do that stuff. I’m a teenager, that’s supposed to be the only thing on my mind. And I can’t even...not even with myself. I don’t want to do anything like that. So I’m never going to be able to have a girlfriend because once they find out that I’m like this then they won’t want to be with me. It’s just not fair.”

The tears starting to fall from Peter’s tired eyes broke Tony’s heart. He really didn’t know what he was supposed to say here, but he was sure as hell going to try.

“That’s not true,” Tony replied. “Just because you don’t feel how other people might doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong. You’re not the first person in the world to be asexual. You’ll be able to have relationships, I promise you. I might not fully understand, and I can’t say it won’t be hard for you at times, but it’s going to be okay.”

Peter looked up at him. “Maybe I should just try it. I can’t really know if I like it or not if I don’t try, right?”

“No,” Tony said immediately, shaking his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. If you don’t have any interest in it, that’s probably not going to change. You can’t force yourself to like doing something like that. Maybe your feelings will change, but it sounds like you know, that you’re sure.”

“I wish I wasn’t,” Peter mumbled miserably. “I just want to be normal in one way. I want normal things, I want a normal relationship.”

“You can have one. I can’t say it’ll be easy for you, because I don’t know what this is like. But I do know that you don’t have to have physical intimacy in that way to be with someone if you both care about each other.”

Peter gave him a doubtful look, and Tony couldn’t help but smile slightly.

“I know that probably sounds like bullshit, especially coming from me. But look at it this way. I spent most of my adult life sleeping with anyone I could. None of it meant anything to me, it was just sex. Some people, I didn’t even know their names. Just because I slept with them didn’t mean I had any feelings for them. And, yeah, I know how much of a dick that makes me.”

Peter breathed a short laugh. “No, it just makes you normal.”

“I’m nothing close to normal, you know that. Stephen and I are a perfect example. We’ve been together for six months, and we’ve never done anything more than kiss. Because he can’t, with his accident, he doesn’t feel like that anymore. But that doesn’t change how I feel about him.”

“Really?” Peter asked in close to astonishment.

Tony nodded. “We’ve never slept together, we never will. And it doesn’t matter. There’s some awkwardness sometimes, because I get, uh, well. You know. But we’ve figured it out. It works. I’ve slept with more people than I can remember, but none of them mean to me what Stephen does.”

Peter swallowed. “I just kept thinking that I’d never be able to have a real connection with anyone if we couldn’t do anything, that that was the only way to really prove you love someone."

“Not even close, kid,” Tony responded. “It can definitely be an emotional and important aspect to a relationship. But I don’t love Stephen any less because of what we don’t do, I love him because of what we can do.”

“You don’t feel like something is missing?”

“No, I don’t. I realize now how much more important other things are. Everything with him is different than what I’ve ever felt before. In a good way. I don’t get butterflies around him, or whatever else they say in sappy movies. I feel calm. The buzzing in my head that seems to span out through the rest of my body dulls or goes away completely. I can breathe, I can focus on just him and not worry about the thousands of things that might be going wrong at any given second.”

“So you don’t want to have sex any more either?” Peter asked, deciding they were well past the point of this being awkward and just asking what he wanted to know.

Tony shook his head. “No, I do. I just, uh, handle it myself.” Peter couldn’t help but chuckle at the blush that came across Tony’s cheeks. “And honestly, I don’t miss it. All of the other things that years ago I would have thought were meaningless are so much more important.”

“Like what?”

“He leaves little snacks all over my lab to make me eat,” Tony answered with a smile. “It’s like a game. I find chocolate covered blueberries or something hidden somewhere, and I’ll eat them because I know he put them there. He always brings me coffee and uses it as an excuse to talk to me and make me take a break. He does this thing when he’s sleeping, where he’ll get restless, and move around until he’s touching me somehow. My leg, side, shoulder, whatever. And then he settles down and goes back to sleep.”

There was no mistaking the look of pure adoration in Tony’s eyes.

“When I’m talking about something, he’s actually listening to me. A lot of people just tune me out, and I get why, but Stephen doesn’t just wait for his turn to talk. He’s so patient and understanding. I’ve never met someone so caring. But he’s not afraid to call me out on my bullshit, either.”

“You guys have something really special,” Peter said, trying to keep the sadness out of his voice. He was happy for them, he truly was. He was just doubting he would ever have it for himself.

“Yeah, we do, and it’s based off of a relationship with no sex. There are so many other ways to have that connection with someone. Mine with Stephen is stronger than anyone else I’ve been with, and it’s not even close. He knows more about me than anyone else ever has. There’s no one I trust more than him.”

Peter nodded slowly. “So you don’t think this is that big of a deal?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s a big deal because it’s part of who you are,” Tony replied. “But it’s not all of who you are, just like you’re not just Spider-Man. I don’t think that it’s going to stop you from having relationships. Yeah, there are going to be some people who don’t understand, but do you want to be with someone who wants to change who you are?”

“No,” Peter answered immediately, and caught Tony’s smile. “I get what you’re saying.”

“I know it doesn’t make it any easier for you right now. I wish I had the answer for you, kid. But what I do know is that you’re incredible, and you’ll find the right person. Just stay true to yourself, okay?”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark. I really appreciate this. And I’m so-”

“Don’t apologize,” Tony interrupted. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I know this isn’t the most fun thing to talk about with me, but whatever you need, I’m here for you. Always.”

***

Later that night, when Stephen arrived at the penthouse, he found Tony still in his lab, but in a much different mood than he had been while talking with Peter. He noticed the near fear coming from the other man as soon as he stepped through the door.

“What’s wrong?”

“I fucked up,” Tony replied, hands in his hair. “I’m so sorry, Stephen. I fucked up.”

“What happened?”

Stephen took a few steps towards Tony, but the genius moved back.

“I didn’t mean to, I swear,” Tony replied, holding his hands up as if Stephen were threatening him with physical harm. “I was just trying to help Peter, but I probably made that worse too. I didn’t know what I was doing, I didn’t mean to betray you, or hurt Peter. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“Tony,” Stephen said calmly. “Try to calm down, okay? Just take a few deep breaths, then tell me what’s going on.”

The brunet opted to skip the deep breaths and instead started pacing. “He was acting off today, obviously something was up. And then he told me that he’s asexual, and he was so worried that he’ll never be able to have a relationship because no one will want to be with him if he doesn’t want to have sex, and thought he should just try it to see for sure, and-” Tony stopped to laugh humorlessly. “Fuck. I just did it again, I did to him what I did to you earlier. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

Stephen had to take a beat to try and catch up. He couldn’t quite figure out how Tony felt he had betrayed him, but he had a hunch that it was his anxiety controlling his mind again. Getting Tony to calm down as much as he could was the best thing to do first.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Stephen said, his voice even. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“How can you say that when you don’t know what I did?”

“I can make an educated guess. Even if I’m wrong, I know you, Tony. You did whatever you could to help Peter. He came to you for help because he trusts you, and I know you did the right thing.” Tony was shaking his head almost the entire time Stephen was speaking, but the sorcerer didn’t give him the chance to argue just yet. “How was Peter after you talked to him?”

Tony blinked. “He was okay, I guess. He seemed better. Relieved.”

Stephen smiled. “Good. That’s all that matters.”

“I told him about us, about you,” Tony added. “That we don’t have sex, we can’t because of your accident. I wanted to show him that just because he doesn’t want to have sex that he can still be in a relationship, he can still fall in love and be loved. I didn’t think about it, I just said it. I’m so sorry, Stephen.”

“Wait,” Stephen said, shaking his head slightly as if to clear it. “You think I’m going to be mad at you because you told Peter we don’t have sex?”

“Because I told him about your accident, and how that’s affected you without talking to you about it. I know how personal it is, and how hard it was for you to tell me about it, never mind having Peter know.”

Stephen nodded slightly. “I admit that I wouldn’t have freely volunteered the information to Peter, but only because it would have been awkward for him, and I can’t think of why it would have ever come up. But this was a good reason.”

Tony finally took a deep breath, but his eyes still clearly showed his worry. “After he left, all I could think about was how hard it was for you to talk to me about all of this, and I just blurted it out to him like it was nothing.”

“Did you tell him to embarrass me?” Stephen asked.

“No,” Tony said immediately, eyes going wide. “I swear I-”

“Did you do it to upset me?”

“No,” Tony replied in a sigh, now knowing what Stephen was doing. “I did it to help him.”

“Which you did,” Stephen added. “And that’s the only thing that matters.”

“Not if I didn’t help him,” Tony countered. “What if I made it worse? Why did I say anything? I don’t know what it’s like, what he’s going through. How the hell do I have any idea what I’m talking about?”

Stephen was finally able to completely close the gap between them and coaxed Tony over to the couch in the corner. Stephen sat, while Tony all but collapsed next to him.

“What did you say?”

“I, uh, I just said that there was nothing wrong with him, and that he can’t force himself to do anything he’s not comfortable with just because he thinks he’s supposed to like it. I told him that I’ve slept with my fair share of people, but that most of them didn’t mean anything to me. I said even though we’ve never slept together I feel closer to you than any of them, by far, and we’ve been able to make it work.”

“I can’t see how any of that would have made things worse.”

Tony sighed heavily. “I just got stuck in my head, I guess. I thought of him struggling with this, and the thought of making it harder for him, and doing that by breaking your trust...”

“You didn’t break my trust,” Stephen assured, putting his hand on Tony’s knee. “It’s not just something personal to me, it’s personal to you, too. And he went to you for advice, so you gave it to him. I’m not mad at you for that, Tony. I’m glad you helped him.”

“I think I made it more awkward as opposed to really helping,” Tony mumbled. “Trying to explain that sometimes I have to go masturbate in the other room without actually saying that wasn’t all that fun.”

Stephen laughed as he moved his hand to the back of Tony’s neck so he could pull him in and press a kiss to his temple. That aspect of their relationship had certainly been uncomfortable at first, but they were able to navigate it. Tony did his best to keep his excitement from getting to that point when Stephen was around, but it was sometimes unavoidable. As with most things concerning Tony, joking about it helped ease his anxiety. He rested his head on Stephen’s shoulder and sighed again.

“I know that this isn’t an ideal situation, and we both wish things could be different between us,” Stephen said softly. When Tony raised his head and opened his mouth to refute that, Stephen kissed him to keep him quiet. “But I’m glad it helped Peter. I’m glad that you had a good example to show him that he can be happy.”

“A really good example,” Tony agreed before kissing Stephen again.

***

Thanks to Tony being called away to help Bruce with some sort of science emergency, Stephen and Peter were left to finish making dinner in his absence. The teenager had been on the quiet side for most of the day, almost skittish around Stephen, and now he had fallen completely silent.

It didn’t take Stephen tapping his intellect to figure out why.

“Peter,” he said gently, getting the boy to look up at him from the salad he was nervously mixing. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, totally fine.”

“Okay, so that’s a lie,” Stephen replied. He set the timer for the chicken he just put into the oven before turning back to Peter. “We can tip toe around it, or we can get it over with.”

Peter sighed heavily. “Mr. Stark told you?”

Stephen nodded once. “Not because he necessarily wanted to. He was on the verge of a panic attack the other day after you left.”

“Why?” Peter asked, eyes wide with concern.

“He was worried that he violated my trust in his conversation with you. Then he was worried he violated your trust by telling me about how he thought he violated mine.” Peter raised an eyebrow. “Long story short, he was scared that he let us both down.”

“He didn’t,” Peter said quickly. “He only told me about you guys to show me that I could have a girlfriend.”

“I know. I’m not mad at him, and I told him that. He didn’t mean to tell me what you two talked about, but you know what his mind can do to him.”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, I do. I didn’t think that would happen, I didn’t think about it that way. That wasn’t my intention, to make him talk about private stuff like that. I didn’t know you guys-”

“I know, Peter,” Stephen said calmly. “That’s my point. I know it’s awkward, knowing that kind of thing about us, but I’m not upset about it. You were struggling with something, and Tony helped you with it. I’m glad he did, however he could.”

“He really did,” Peter agreed. “The stuff he said, about how he knows he loves you, made so much sense.”

“What did he say?” Stephen asked before he could stop himself.

“That he doesn’t get butterflies around you, or any of that other stuff in movies. He said he feels safe because the buzzing in his head stops and he can just focus on you. And that you really listen to him, you don’t just tune him out, and you’re patient.”

Stephen felt his throat thickening with emotion. Peter smiled as he went back to the salad.

“He told me about the stuff you do for him, leaving snacks in the lab and bringing him coffee. He said all of that matters more than anything he’s done with other people. That it doesn’t matter that you’ve never slept together because he trusts you more than anyone else he’s ever met.”

That had effectively left Stephen speechless. Luckily, Peter was onto his next thought, and didn’t seem to notice.

“Can I actually ask you something?” he ventured shyly.

“Of course,” Stephen replied, surprised his voice was so steady.

“You don’t have to answer it if it’s too personal. I don’t want this to be weird, but I don’t really know anyone else I can talk to about it, but I don’t want you and Mr. Stark to have to tell me all of this personal stuff-”

“Peter,” Stephen interrupted gently. “It’s fine. The awkward ship has sailed. I want to help you, if I can.”

An appreciative smile crossed Peter’s face. “I was just wondering how you guys talked about it. He said it was because of your accident, that you can’t...but that happened a while ago, right?”

“It did. Years before I met Tony.”

Peter nodded. “And Mr. Stark said I shouldn’t try it to see if I like it, because I already know I won’t. So I’ll have to tell anyone that I might be dating at some point. I just feel stuck because I want to tell MJ I like her, but I want to be honest with her, and I don’t know how to do that.”

“I think you should do one thing at a time,” Stephen offered. “Especially because you’re young. You don’t have to tell her you like her and that you’re asexual all at once. That’s not lying to her if you wait until you feel comfortable. That’s the most important thing, Peter, to talk about it when you’re ready, not when you think you’re supposed to tell her. There are no guidelines to follow.”

“That makes sense,” Peter said.

“What I did to Tony wasn’t fair,” Stephen added. “We were getting closer, and there was clearly something more than friendship. I kept him at an arm’s length because I didn’t know what else to do. And then one night, he made dinner to thank me for helping him with something. We were talking, and we kissed. Then I ran away.”

“Ran away?”

Stephen sighed. “Yes. I had held off telling him how I felt because I didn’t think anything would ever happen between us given that I can’t have sex anymore. I didn’t want to have that conversation, I thought it would hurt too much if he felt the same, but didn’t want to waste his time.”

“What changed your mind about telling him?”

“He got hurt,” Stephen said, and had to swallow the lump in his throat. “The building collapse after he saved everyone from that fire. I came back from a mission, and Wong told me. I came here to make sure he was okay, and seeing him concussed and bruised...I don’t know. I just had to tell him the truth. He thought he had done something wrong, that he crossed a line and I was mad at him and that’s why I ran away. So I told him everything. That I had feelings for him, and why I hadn’t let myself tell him before then.”

“How did he react?” Peter asked, wanting to help Stephen along in telling the story more than anything.

Stephen smiled, mostly to himself. “He was great. He’s been so great with all of this. I told him I knew nothing could happen between us, but he didn’t agree. I got him to agree to sleep on it, because I thought that when he had a chance to really think about it, he wouldn’t want to be with me. Then he asked me on a date, dinner at the tower. I tried to explain to him that it wouldn’t work, and he called me an idiot.”

“Why?” Peter asked with a laugh.

“Because I was trying to convince him he wouldn’t want to be with me, that we couldn’t make this work. But we have. I was worried that eventually it would be too much and he would leave, but that time never came. And I know it’s not going to.”

Peter matched Stephen’s smile. “Mr. Stark said it’ll be hard, and some people won’t understand, but I’ll find the right person.”

“You will. Like anything else in life, it’s going to be frustrating at times. But you’ll be okay, Peter.”

Shortly after dinner was finished cooking, Tony was able to rejoin them. He instantly noted Peter was now more his usual self, and was telling them excitedly about his latest science project. When they were done eating, Peter cleared the plates and loaded them into the dishwasher before he had to take his leave.

As soon as he was out the door, Tony turned his attention to Stephen.

“Not that I’m complaining, but why have you been looking at me like that all night?”

Stephen hadn’t been able to keep the goofy smile off his face since Tony had returned. He kept replaying in his head what Peter had told him about his conversation with Tony, his heart swelling each time.

“Peter was acting weird around me because he figured you had told me what you guys talked about,” Stephen explained. “So I talked to him a little bit too so he wouldn’t feel so awkward. He asked me how I told you about my issue, and that seemed to help him a bit.”

“That’s great,” Tony said with a smile, but his eyes said he still didn’t quite understand where the look of adoration was coming from.

A trembling hand slid into Tony’s as they sat next to each other, still at the table in the kitchen. Tony instinctively squeezed it as firmly as he knew he could without hurting the other man.

“He told me what you said. About feeling safe with me, and how I listen to you. He told me that you said you trust me more than anyone else you’ve been with.”

Tony nodded slowly. “Yeah. I do.”

Stephen had to swallow hard before he could speak again. “Hearing that...I don’t know how to explain it. I’m just so glad that you feel that way, that you’re happy.”

“Because of you,” Tony added. “I’m happy because of you, because I’m with you.”

“I never thought that would be possible.”

“Well that’s because you’re an idiot.”

The laugh that burst through Stephen’s lungs brought a smile to Tony’s face. Without any ability to stop himself, Stephen leaned forward and pressed his lips to that brilliant smile.

“I love you,” Tony swore, moving back just enough to be able to mumble the words. “So much, Stephen.”

“I love you too,” came the reply before they kissed again.

And again.


End file.
